If you’ve ever a read a book where you got halfway through and it felt like things were still getting set up, that might be a result of a lack of external tension.
I recently got feedback from a beta reader for my WIP The Sound of Everything, and it turned out I had this exact problem. This is what beta readers are for! I was so grateful she pointed out that problem, and we spent a while brainstorming fixes together, plus a lot brainstorming on my own since that initial conversation.
I’m working my way through fixing the issue in my novel, and I figured I’m probably not the only writer who has struggled with this problem before (at least, I hope not!) So here are some signs that your novel might be lacking external conflict, and what worked for me to fix that issue.
First, what do I mean by external conflict?
Nearly every story will have both internal and external conflict. In a good story, these two types of conflict feed each other. For example: A character might start out the story as a very impatient person. Her impatience means she decides not to get her car looked at before a road trip, but then it breaks down in the middle of nowhere. She learns that being patience is important and has benefits.
In this (oversimplified) example, both types of conflict are at play. There’s an implied internal conflict as she lets her impatience lead her to make the poor decision to not have her car looked at. This results in external conflict when her car breaks down. That then leads to more internal conflict as she wrestles with the results of her decision, and comes to realize how she needs to grow.
If, instead, she decided not to get her car looked at, and then spent the road trip worrying about it, but her car was fine and she made it to her destination without an issue—that is all dependent on internal conflict, and without any external conflict or consequences of her action, it doesn’t make sense for her to change, and it makes for a less interesting story!
3 signs your novel might be lacking external conflict
Still feels like you’re in “set up”
I mentioned this one at the start, and that’s because I think it’s a feeling we’ve probably had before while reading. You realize that you’re well into the book, maybe even halfway, but also it feels like you’re still waiting for anything important to happen. It doesn’t mean that you haven’t enjoyed what you’ve read so far (otherwise, why would you keep reading?) but, still, when you think “So what?” about the inciting incident or any choices the characters have made, you realize you’re still waiting to find out the consequences of those decisions. This may mean that your main character has spent a lot of time thinking about or even talking about the decisions, but there hasn’t been a consequence in their life yet.
Low word count
Lack of external conflict is definitely not the only possible cause of low word count, nor is a low word count a sure sign of a lack of external conflict. BUT the two can be linked, so if you’re well under the expected word count for your category and genre, consider examining your external plot to see if it’s missing some consequences.
Often, when low word count is a result of lack of conflict, it’s again because the character is too much in their own head—the words are spent thinking about what’s happening, instead of stuff actually happening. The latter one—describing external action—will almost always use more words than the character thinking about something.
Use the “movie trailer test”
This is a great tip from the podcast, The Shit No One Tells You About Writing. Basically, pretend your book is a movie (we can dream!) Then think about what scenes in the book would appear in the trailer. Obviously, the trailer is not going to include long scenes of your character thinking to themselves or even talking to someone else about what’s happened. It’s going to show the action: What choices are made, and what are the repercussions. If you struggle to identify enough scenes in your book to make a compelling movie trailer, then it’s probably a sign that too much is happening internally, without affecting the external plot.
How to fix it
Obviously, everyone has a different way of working, but I hope that sharing my process gives you some ideas of how to start tackling this issue in your own work.
Have you fully developed all the important characters?
In brainstorming with my beta reader and on my own, I realized I hadn’t fully fleshed out an important character—the antagonist, as much as there is one in a contemporary women’s fiction novel. This made her wishy-washy, which meant that whatever happened in my plot, instead of increasing tension, I ended up letting go of the tension because my antagonist just went with it. (She wasn’t much of an antagonist!)
So first I sat down and figured out her motivation, what she needed, etc. (learn more about this process here!) I’d done this during earlier drafts, but since writing my WIP, I’d learned more about her, and it helped to go through this process again. Then I brought this new knowledge of my character into the next step.
Make an outline of major plot points
I created a list of all the big things that happen in my book. I wrote them out on one side of the page, and then in a second column, I challenged myself to think, “What’s the worst thing that could happen?” I spent a lot of time writing down ridiculous answers to this question, but eventually I would land on something that felt right for the plot. Then I looked at the next plot point – how does it need to change if the plot point before it changes to this new idea? And how can I make that change the worst thing that can happen?
It will depend on your manuscript how much of a change this exercise necessitates. For my WIP, there were a couple plot points that required much bigger changes, which made me play around with my overall plot. But lots of scenes only changed within that scene, and while they increase the tension, they didn’t shift much in the overall story.
If you also went through the process of understanding your characters better, consider how they would react to each plot point. With a more clarified vision of my antagonist and her personality, values, and weaknesses in my head, I went through the outline again, asking, “How would this character react to this situation?” Often, in the original draft I’d written, she let things slide, but this new, firmer character I had would not stand for that, so that automatically increased the character-to-character conflict, and therefore the tension, in the story.
Now, not every book or even every genre requires external conflict. In particular, Literary novels tend to be a lot more introspective and internal. That’s fine! But if you’re writing in a genre that does tend to have a lot happening outside the character’s minds, I hope this article is helpful to you!
Have you ever read a book that lacked external conflict? Did you find these tips helpful? Let me know in the comments!
